My internal response to this declaration was: Really? Every weekend?

Honestly, I think when one endeavors to achieve complete autonomy they shut out the possibility for true intimacy, with more than just romantic partners. Luckily, I don’t think I’m a lost cause. I value my relationships with people too much to preclude the possibility that I will end up married to someone for 50 years of my life. There’s still time.

And I am working on changing some of my current patterns. You and I should talk soon.

i think there’s just as much a fantasy of true love as there is of total self-sufficiency. That If you achieve that level of autonomy you wont be emotionally vulnerable anymore…i think that’s about as realistic as the cinderella tale.

However I’m only married because i think it’s possible to be responsible for my own fullfillment *and* be in a long-term relationship. Which I haven’t totally figured out yet, find the process extremely frustrating and the goal elusive at times…

You hit the nail on the head when you ask “what value are you exchanging?” since it’s pretty much the question that comes up the more things you realize you *don’t* need from your partner.

And sometimes it feels like the enjoyable experience of romance is sacrificed for being so ‘aware’ and practical (not to mention sucks as an inspiration for song writing!). but not always – and the idea of finding the space for both things to exist at the same time really appeals to me.

But do you think that building a completely self-dependent lifestyle eliminates space for a long-term intimate partnership?

“Is it “strong” to feel exempt from the need for an intimate partner?”

I certainly like to think so.